The Story of a Suicide Response

I liked the way that this was worded. It came off somewhat as a newspaper article, as did both of these pieces really, but I liked this one's use of language more. It felt more like the author was trying to make it feel less like an article and more like a story. It had emotions in it and it was a lot more compelling than just the facts stated as they might be in something like this. That inclusion made it work a lot more than it might have otherwise. What's especially interesting is that I had heard this story before, but never in such detail (SO MUCH detail, too. Why was it so long? Why were either of them so long? It got boring way before the half-way point). Although it certainly wasn't one of the most compelling things I've read (I struggled keeping focus on it, in all honesty) it wasn't horrid.  There were definitely aspects of it that I found appealing and other things that I didn't like as much, but isn't that how it goes?

In Which There is Physical Description

She's shorter than I am, perhaps about five foot six inches, although she doesn't like to wear shoes and oftentimes goes around in her bare feet. She maintains her hair short, above her shoulders but below her chin, and it looks golden brown in the light of the sun, but flatter under dull florescent. I don't think it's her real hair color, but who am I to judge? It's soft, too, when you touch it, which I haven't, but I know people who have. When she looks at you, her eyes are blue, with hints of green around her pupils. There's always a hint of teasing, or joy. You wouldn't want to see her crying. When she's drowned out that sense of wonder, you know that something is horribly wrong. And she always smells inexplicably of pastries, although I've yet to see her baking or spending inordinate amounts of time in bakeries or coffee shops.

When she speaks, she has people entranced. The words that she says don't matter as much in light of the beauty that is her voice. She doesn't say good things; rather, she's cruel and vicious. She doesn't know when to stop, or where he boundaries are. She's mean. But it doesn't matter, because people fall for the tone of her voice, like she's an angel and these are merely her battle hymns. She doesn't like people, but people like her. She could rule a kingdom with an iron fist, and she could bring it down without much thought to herself. She'd just keep on the way she always has, oblivious and self-absorbed.

The American Male at Age Ten Response

I'm not sure I would call this piece 'effective'. The sentence structure was boring. It was the same sentence over and over again "We would..." and it didn't hold my attention, and then when that was over "He is..." for another paragraph. I think that was a downfall. I can see how it could have worked, if the piece was written in that child-like tone, but I think that it really failed here. Although, I do think that some of the humor worked well for it, but the writing itself felt really underwhelming and boring. It was a good idea, but it wasn't executed well with the style or tone of the story. I believe what I'm trying to say in a roundabout, long enough for the word count required way, is that I did not like this piece. I don't think that it worked so I would be hard pressed to write about how it was effective, because I don't believe that it was.